Thursday, December 23, 2010

Standings, 12/24

San Diego State just rolled a mind-numbingly conservative Navy team, so here are the standings on the eve of Christmas Eve day.

I remain your fearless leader, undefeated and unmatched. You'll notice that there's now a 'Max Possible' category, which is the total points each player could score if the rest of his or her picks were perfect. Credit to Dan Ryan for this idea, the insidious uncle who snuck up to 2nd place tonight. I haven't seen an uncle this untrustworthy since Claudius, AM I RIGHT?

Tough crowd. On to the features!

The Undefeated Club

Will Byrum, Kyle Seymour, and Sean Marshall cast their lot with the Naval Academy tonight, and now they're out to sea. (I'm really sorry, but I can't stop making stupid jokes.) The undefeated club now consists of 5 stalwarts:

Shane Ryan (HOO-rah!), Richard 'Sarge' Sarver, Greg Blanco, Dan Ryan, and Fred Cacchione.

The Day's Biggest Winner

This goes to John Kairalla, whose SDSU-31 pick sent him rocketing up to 7th place. I've never met John, but I'm really curious about how to pronounce his last name. The coolest way would be "Kuh-RYE-uh." The second coolest way would be "Kay-RALL-uh." The least cool way? "Farve."

The Day's Biggest Loser

This one goes to the unfortunate Jacob Kresovich, who believed in the Midshipmen to the tune of 33 points. But at least one of us is patriotic.

Old School v. New School

These are the second year players against the newcomers. The old-schoolers took a step in the right direction tonight, but they're still trailing by a significant margin.

Old School Average: 77.1
New School Average: 84.5

The Schneid Watch

Emily Radford is no longer alone! With his Navy pick, Erik Grell joins her at 2-4. Is it any coincidence that their initials are "ER" and "EG," which both sound like noises you make when things aren't going well?


Helter Skelter vs. Dirty Vegas vs. Shouting Siblings

This is the one where we use three contestants to determine whether it's better to make your picks using a coin and a hat, picking by the spread, or relying on random outbursts from teenagers. It's a tight one, but for the first time all year, fightin' Dave Ryder has taken a lead.

Dirty Vegas: 88
Helter Skelter: 82
Shouting Siblings: 44

Young vs. Old

Crazy news, folks: Spike is not actually the youngest contestant. It came to my attention today that Jacob Kresovich is actually the youngest at 21 years of age. But the Spike (25) vs. Tom Cowell (77) battle has so captured the nation's attention that it can't be abandoned now. Instead, we'll make this a tag-team fight. Spike and Jacob will join forces for the youngsters, and Tom Cowell will join up with the second-oldest contestant. At the moment, I believe that to be Tom Fisch, who is 64. But I could be wrong. If we have anyone who trumps 64, let me know. Until then, this new wrinkle has vaulted the old-timers into first place.

Old: 147
Young: 96

Eric(k)s vs. Toms vs. Females

Toms: 214
Females: 187
Eric(k)s: 178

The females have struck a mighty blow to the Eric(k)s, and now they have their sights set on the Toms. Caution be damned!

Family Time

Controversy: I've looked deep within my heart, and decided that the bowl pool partnership of me and my girlfriend just wasn't working. It's nothing personal, and I've already explained to her that this should have no bearing on our actual relationship. But I have to look out for my best interests in the bowl pool, and with that in mind I've adopted Dave Ryder, my uncle, to be my new partner in the Family Time feature. This is the hardest part of my job. Thank you all for your support in this difficult time. The fact that our new partnership is immediately in first place somewhat helps to dull the pain of this tough decision.

Shane Ryan/Ryder (uncle/nephew): 215
Ryan (Dan & Steve, brothers): 212
Kairalla (John & Phil, father/son): 208
Zehringer/Sarver (father/son-in-law): 204
Curry (Mike & Patricia, husband/wife): 186
McLaughlin/Moore (cousins): 165
Cacchione (Fred & Tom, father/son): 147
Cowell/Fisch (father/son-in-law): 147
Mooney (Brendan & Dan, brothers): 129

The Currys have slipped from first to 5th after their disastrous double-Navy pick, while the Ryan brothers and the Kairallas have moved into striking distance of our new leaders.

Fan Favorite

Today's Fan Favorite is Dave "Fort" Bragg. As you may have noticed, I'll now be giving really stupid nicknames to each fan favorite, the annoying kind they've probably heard all their lives and are pretty sick of. It's all part of the game. "Fort" Bragg is today's fan favorite because, after losing his second game of the season and being widely ridiculed in football circles everywhere, he's scratched and clawed his way back to a 5-1 record and third place. Just like the Oregon Ducks, everyone counted him out. But he's back, and he won't be easily defeated. Well done, Fort Bragg.

1 comment:

  1. -Sketchy move on the 'Family Time,' but I do hope you guys work things out.
    -'Tis a rare specimen that gets the pronunciation correct at first. I immediately become suspicious when that happens...that person is hiding something. It is actually Kuh-RELL-uh. I don't know which family member decided on this, as it is blatantly incorrect, but what can I do about it?