Monday, January 11, 2010

The Final Standings

See you next year!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

1/7: We Have a Winner!

Ladies and gentleman of the bowl pool, please rise as one to congratulate the Prince of Predictions, the Swami of the Spreads, the August King of Auguring, the Sultan of Selection, the Pope of Prognostication, the Caliph of Conjecture, and Reigning Poobah of Pigskin Prophecy....Herman "H-Rod" Rodriguez!!!!

(We have no picture of Herman on file, so we're using archival material from the 2009 Yankee World Series celebration.)

Tonight's Alabama-Texas game will be purely cermonial, much like the final Paris stage of the Tour de France, which seems to parallel our pool exactly. Appropriately, Herman will also finish tied for the best record in the pool. This double victory feat shall be henceforth known as "Double Bagging." Tomorrow morning, British urchins will be selling newspapers on the street, yelling out "ey guv, read it 'ere, 'Erman Rodriguez got him the double bag!"

Let's take a glance at some of the other drama around the league.

The Battle of Brothers

This is sort of like doubles tennis; important but not quite so illustrious. And it's still not decided! Let's start from the bottom. The Thomasons had a rough beginning and a respectable ending, but they never had enough steam to make a real run at the top. Ditto for the Forsythes, who also salvaged something from a rough start. The Fisch Brothers, early leaders, fell by the wayside when Joe Fisch stopped carrying his weight and sank down the leaderboard. That leaves two: the Mooneys and the Ryans. Here are the current standings:

The Mooney Brothers: 665 points, average: 332.5
The Ryan Brothers: 649 points, average: 324.5
The Fisch Brothers: 567 points, average: 283.5
The Thomason Brothers: 547 points, average: 273.5
The Forsythe Brothers: 273 points, average: 273

As you can see, the Mooneys have a slight lead. But Brendan "Looney" Mooney went out on a limb and picked Texas to win the title game. With both Ryans having selected Alabama, a Crimson Tide victory would put them over the top. There's still some drama left!

Victory Laps

To Helter Skelter, Patricia Curry, who lost her chance at a title with last night's Central Michigan OT victory, but who won the duel with Mr. By-the-Numbers and can still finish second overall with a Texas victory.

To Tom Cowell, the champion of Old vs. Young. He struck a blow for old-timers everywhere by finishing 23rd in the pool compared to Spike Friedman's 27th. His victory lap will be the sweetest...and slowest.

To Charles Rosen, the Schneid King. Showing his usual flair for incompetence, Charles picked Troy in last night's game, dropping his league worst record to 10-22. Emily Radford, previously in last, vaulted ahead with her CMU selection, and Charles has now officially clinched the cellar.

To my extended gene pool, who now hold spots 4,6,7,8,12,16,23,28,29, and 30 in the rankings, for an overall rating of "average."

To Noah Davis, whose prediction of "America" as the winner of the Central Michigan-Troy game came brilliantly true, earning him a controversial six points and the Fan Favorite title in perpetuity.

In The Money: How It'll Play Out

If Alabama wins...

1) Herman Rodriguez $210
2) Joey Keppel $80
3) Steve Ryan $40

If Texas wins...

1) Herman Rodriguez $210
2) Patricia Curry $80
3) Brendan Mooney $40

Check out the standings below, and thank you to everyone for playing! Roll Tide!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Standings, 1/6

And here we are, ladies and gentlemen, two days away from the end of the first annual College Football Bowl Pool. And what a ride it's been! The standings have sorted themselves out, and we're down to two possible winners. Please give a warm round of applause to:

1) Herman Rodriguez. If Central Michigan wins tonight, first place is his alone. Failing that, he'll still take the whole kit and caboodle with an Alabama win on Thursday.

2) Helter Friggin' Skelter. Who knew? Patricia Curry, the old coin tosser, keeps hanging around, and her wild randomizing tactics gave her Troy-28 and Texas-26 over the next two days. If both of those come true, she'll be flipping hundred dollar bills instead of coins.

On to the long-lost features!

Fan Favorite:

This one goes to Steve Ryan and Tom Fisch. Steve started 0-5 and couldn't even show his face in public without little kids making up mean rhymes about him, but since then he's reeled off an impressive 20-6 streak to surge into sixth place. Now he can't show his face in public because he gets hit with too many flowers and gifts. If Central Michigan and Texas win, he even has a shot at finishing in the money. Tom Fisch held the lead for a long time, and even though he didn't quite have the juice to hang on, the fans appreciate his quiet dignity as he staggers to the end. It's a little bit like Tom Watson in this year's British Open. A great, improbable run that ends with him looking around a bit befuddled and out of place, but the entire effort will be vigorously applauded by appreciative crowds. And then he'll have to run to the bathroom really, really fast.

The Showdown: Helter Skelter vs. Mr-By-The-Numbers

Was there every any doubt? The guy wearing a monocle and a cumberbun who brings an abacus to parties against the wild child kicking open the saloon doors and firing her six-shooters into the air? YOU GOTTA LIVE CRAZY, WORLD. Patricia Curry has an 18-13 record (which, let's be honest, is pretty friggin' fortunate when you're flipping a coin) with 330 points, while Dave Ryder is 14-17 (meaning underdogs are a ridiculous 17-14 straight up, hugely unlucky for someone picking the money line) with 278. This one is officially in the books. But it leaves some lingering questions...what kind of coin did she use? Was heads or tails more effective? Was it truly and completely random? Isn't it very suspicious that she picked her alma mater, West Virginia, as her 32 priority game???? The controversy won't end! Historians will be discussing this one for decades!

The Schneid Watch

At some point about four days ago, the lovely Emily Radford decided that she wanted to be last place. Give her the fame and shame of ignominy over anonymity, she said, six days a week and twice on Sunday. She's fished her wish so far, at least halfway; at 167 points, she's the lowest rung on the standings ladder. But Charles Rosen, not to be outdone, owns the worst record at 10-21, and has a fighting chance to finish last in both categories. If Central Michigan wins tonight, he'll have an iron grip on the Schneid Trophy, which will be named after its first owner.

The Over .500 Club

Herman Rodriguez and Steve Ryan own the best records at 20-11. Joe Keppel and Kyle Seymour sit just below at 19-12. 18-13: Tom Fisch, Patricia Curry. 17-14: Dan Mooney, Gordon Dupuis, Billy M., and Joe Fisch (who deserves special credit for scoring almost none of his high picks. 17-14 and only 230 points? You win the anomaly award!). 16-15 and on the bubble: Jordan Glickson, Jake Berkowitz, Julio McLaughlin, Tim Reale. 15-16 and just outside the front gate, shouting for entrance: Brendan Mooney, Dan Ryan, Jeff Hawkins, Adam Hammerschmidt, Noah Davis, Justin Fisch.

That Battle of the Brothers

Wow, it's been a while! This one of the most exciting features going, as the Mooneys, Dan and Brendan, have an incredibly narrow 4-point edge on the Fightin' Ryans, Steve and Dan. Nothing is decided yet, folks!

Mooney Brothers: 628 points, average: 314
Ryan Brothers: 624 points, average: 312
Fisch Brothers: 562 points, average: 286
Forsythes: 267 points, average: 267
Thomason Brothers: 524 points, average: 262

Young vs. Old

He's done it, folks! Tom Cowell, the valiant senior citizen who wouldn't be kept down, has defeated resident whippersnapper Spike Friedman. Using elbow grease and old-fashioned know-how, he taught a hard lesson to the the head-banging, sub-woofing, blatant society-disrespecting punk who thought the world owed him a favor. When asked about his plans for celebration, Cowell vowed to sleep for four days straight and then tell the three-hour version of his story to family members and complete strangers every day for the rest of his life. At press time, an angst-ridden Spike could be found spray-painting obscenities and anarchy symbols on the underpass of a local bridge.

The Relative Game

Rankings, 1/6: 3,4,6,8,11,16,22,27,28,30
Strength of the gene pool: Very slightly above average!!

That's it for today. See you all tomorrow after Central Michigan-Troy.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Standings, 1/5

Friends of the pool,

Sorry for the late update again. The good news is that all internet connectivity problems are resolved, and we're back in business. Starting tomorrow, I'll be updating until Friday with the full roster of features and standings. Today, just standings, which should be fascinating enough.

Herman Rodriguez is our new leader, narrowly edging out Kyle Seymour with a brilliant Boise State-23 pick. One Keppel-bomb was dodged by TCU losing, but he's still very much in the hunt. And guess who's back? HELTER-SKELTER! If Iowa happens to win tonight, she's right back in winner's mix. Except, there's CONTROVERSY! On her prediction sheet, she listed "Iowa St." as the winner of tonight's game. As we know, Iowa St. is not playing. Should we give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant Iowa, or should we take the hard line and give her nothing regardless of the outcome??

George: I'm sorry. The card says "Moops."
Bubble Boy: It doesn't matter. It's the Moors. There's no "Moops."
George: It's "Moops."
Bubble Boy: Moors.
George: "Moops!"
Bubble Boy: Moors.

See you all tomorrow.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Standings, 1/4

Hello, my friends. Apologies for the lateness, but there have been some internet issues at home which prevent me from easily e-mailing myself the various spreadsheets. The standings today will not look as pretty as in the past, and will not include PPR, but I'm hoping those issues will be resolved by tomorrow. So, here's how it played out after that Michigan State - Texas Tech game:

Kyle Seymour 339
Tom Fisch 332
Brendan 328
Herman 322
Joe Keppel 313
Dan Ryan 302
Dan Mooney 300
Jordan Glickson 298
Kevin Francke 286
Jeff Hawkins 279
Eric Thomason 279
Steve Ryan 278
Dave Ryder 278
Adam Hammerschmidt 272
Gordon Dupuis 268
Patricia Curry 267
Julio McLaughlin 265
Forsythes 260
Tim Reale 250
Billy M. 246
Jake Berkowitz 245
Brian Leitten 241
Justin Fisch 231
Tom Cowell 229
Noah Davis 220
Nick Thomason 220
Joe Fisch 217
Spike Friedman 216
Nate Purinton 210
Me 191
Charles Rosen 176
Emily Radford 167

The big news, as you can see, is that Kyle Seymour is our new leader. Unfortunately, it will be very, very difficult for him to hang on to this position over the last four games. The fan favorite and the odds-on winner at this point is, believe it or not, Joe Keppel. Although he's only in fifth place, he has over 100 PPR in his last four games. If the results go as expected (TCU, Central Michigan, Alabama), it will be tough for anyone to hold him off. If the year of the upset continues, though, it's anybody's game!

Back to the features and everything tomorrow when the internet stuff is sorted out. Welcome back to the world of work, bowlers. Boise State - TCU tonight.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Standings 1/2: All but Mich. St. - Texas Tech

Title says it all, that last game is not yet in the books. Tom Fisch is hanging on to a narrow lead while Kyle Seymour absolutely storms up the leaderboard. It's anyone's game!

Update tomorrow with end-of-weekend standings.

Standings, 1/2

This is after the South Florida and UConn wins. Does NOT take into account the Ole Miss win yet, nor the two night games. Tightening up! Kyle Seymour surging! Jordan Glickson will not go away! Herman Rodriguez has PPR to spare! Tom Fisch holding the lone wolf faltering????

Friday, January 1, 2010

Standings 1/1: All Games Completed

I'm assuming a Florida win here, even though it's only halftime. If Cincy comes back, I officially cancel the pool because it'll be too hard to correct the points.

Brendan Mooney coming on strong! Tom Fisch maintains his big lead, though. See you tomorrow.

Standings 1/1: Pre-Rose Bowl

This doesn't take into account the Rose Bowl or Florida-Cincinnati. Tom Fisch continues to run away with the thing!

Standings 1/1

These are prior to any New Year's Day games. Will try to update at different points today. Happy 2009!